No, you are not ‘running late’, you are rude and selfish

This post may offend some readers. But only because it’s going to cut close to the bone for many.

And I don’t care if I sound old-fashioned, because actually it’s nothing to do with ‘fashion’ or ‘generation’. It’s got everything to do with basic good manners and respect for other people.

So here goes… How did it get to be “OK” for people to be late for everything?

Because as far as I am concerned, it’s not OK.

In recent years it seems that a meeting set to start at 9 am, for some people means in the general vicinity of any time which starts with the numeral ‘9’. Like 9.30 for example.

People drift in at 9.10 or 9.20, or even later. And they smile warmly at the waiting group, as they unwrap their bacon sandwich, apparently totally unconcerned that others have been there since five to nine, prepared and ready to start.

10 people kept waiting in a meeting for 20 minutes, while some selfish pratt who idles his way via the coffee shop, is actually 20 minutes times 10, which is 200 minutes wasted – while you keep us waiting because you did not catch the earlier bus. That is over 3 hours wasted. By you! How much has that cost the business? Shall I send you an invoice?

And an arrangement to meet someone for a business meeting at a coffee shop at 3 pm, more often than not means at 3.10 you get a text saying ‘I am five minutes away’ which inevitably means 10 minutes, and so you wait for 15 or 20 minutes, kicking your heels in frustration.

And often these ‘latecomers’ are people who have requested the meeting in the first place, are asking for your help, or are selling something. Fat chance mate!

And it’s not only business.

Why do people, invited for a dinner party at 7.30, think its cool to arrive at 8.30? It’s rude. It’s inconsiderate. And it’s selfish, as I witnessed in a coffee shop near my home one weekend. Three “ladies who lunch” (a species not confined to, but heavily represented on, the lower North Shore of Sydney) were chatting loudly at the table next to me. One inquired what time the ‘drinks do’ was that night. The reply for all the world to hear was ‘Oh 7.30, but we won’t get there till 9 because by then it will have warmed up and all the interesting people will have arrived’. Nice. Imagine if everyone took that view. Cocktail parties would start at 3 am eventually.

Or a dinner at a restaurant where I was meeting two other couples. My wife was away, so I was flying solo. I arrived at two minutes to eight for an eight o’clock booking. At 8.20, I was into my second glass of Pinot and at half-past I got a text saying ‘on the way’. We finally were all seated at 8.45. There were not even attempted excuses from either of the two couples, who seemed oblivious to the fact I might actually have got there at the agreed time. Meanwhile I had put a huge dent in the bottle of Pinot, and was ready to go home.

And it is not that we lead ‘busy lives’. That’s a given, we all do, and it’s a cop out to use that as an excuse. It’s simply that some people no longer even pretend that they think your time is as important as theirs. And technology makes it worse. It seems texting or emailing that you are late somehow means you are no longer late.

Rubbish.

You are rude. And inconsiderate.

And I act on it to. My dentist kept me waiting 50 minutes not long ago. I walked out, past a literally open-mouthed receptionist who had never seen a patient act on their frustration, only to get a frantic call from the dentist herself as I got into my car.

Sure she was “busy”, another patient took longer than she expected, blah blah.

But hold on, I am busy too! I would not keep her waiting 45 minutes if she came to see me as a candidate. And yet I am HER customer. I told her I have been coming to you for 15 years but don’t take me for granted. See fewer patients in a day if you have to, but see me on time or close to it. She has never kept me waiting again.

Me? Am I ever late? Sure, sometimes. That’s inevitable even with the best intentions. But I never plan to be late. I never ‘let time slide’ because my stuff is more important than yours.

I am not talking about the odd occasion of lateness. I am talking about people who are routinely late. In fact, never on time. You know who I am talking about!

And certainly I consider serial lateness a character flaw which I take into account when working out who to promote, who to hire and who to count amongst my real friends.

It’s that important.

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(71) Readers Comments

Erin Loh
19 July, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Hi Greg, I can’t agree more! I’m a stickler for time myself cos I believe it’s just simple, plain, basic manners. Serial latecomers have utterly no respect for other people’s time. I have many friends like that… and gradually I write them off. The same etiquette should apply in all settings.. work and social. It’s really sad that some people can be shamelessly late for appointments and yet be totally unapologetic about it..!

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- Allen
  10 January, 2012 at 9:05 pm
  
  well, your not alone. i walked out of a interview for a job, because the interviewer wasted an hour of my time.
  
  i’m now with a much better job offer
  
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- Maya
  11 January, 2012 at 2:32 am
  
  yeah , you are right .
  
  Reply
Carolyn Hyams
19 July, 2011 at 3:35 pm

I love this post! Why don’t people (business and pleasure) understand that being late is not cool. It’s very uncool. I can’t wait to try out your method with my doctor who likes to keep me waiting at least 45 minutes – and with a small child, it’s totally unacceptable.

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travellati
19 July, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Thank you SO much for this post. I will be sharing it with certain people who are always late, to give them an obvious hint!
I’ve always prided myself on punctuality, and agree that it is a character trait which too many people let slide nowadays. Just last Saturday night, my husband and I were hosting a dinner party at our place. We invited our guests for 9pm (it was a late starter so the kids could be asleep). Two of our guests arrived at… wait for it…11.45pm!! I was horrified. No apologies or excuses were given.
I am utterly thankful that there are people like you who still respect and value other people’s time.

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- Maya
  11 January, 2012 at 2:36 am
  
  you also right, sometime they didn’t know the way they doing were wrong so that’s why they keep to be late anytime.
  
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melanie
19 July, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Fantastic – always thought late people were arrogant!!! I had an employee that walked in once late and said – i’m running late today and there were 10 clients waiting for her!!!!! Needless to say the employment did not last.

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Emma
27 July, 2011 at 10:56 am

Great read – so true.

I actually had arranged some of my now husband’s female friends around to get to know them better when we first started going out and had told them to come over for a BBQ. But I ended up going all out and prepared an amazing feast (none of which was to hit the BBQ). Told them to come over around 12pm and I sat there and sat there and eventually one turned up and then the other two turned up two hours later, with not much of an apology on offer. No message or call to say they would be late. I had to call them to find out where they were and they had popped to the shops. They obviously thought BBQ meant rock on over whenever. Here I was trying to make an impression and I put so much effort (and cost) in, but they ended up leaving a terrible impression on me. While we are al really good friends now, let me just say, none of them ever appeared on my dinner party list again! So rude!

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David
27 July, 2011 at 11:40 am

I love it Greg.
In fact I wrote something along the same lines for Anthill Online a while back.
I think you may like it

http://anthillonline.com/the-lameness-of-lateness/

“Tell me, why is it that some people consistently show up late for events that happen at the same time every week? Is it that 7pm on a Wednesday night sneaks up on them from a different angle each week? Do they really forget something that predictable and repeatable every week? No, they are just inconsiderate and rude.”

David

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- Bree
  6 November, 2011 at 6:47 pm
  
  Yes we have forgotten manners somewhere…a friend of mine who is AlWAYS late just found out that she has ADHD, apperantly keeping track of time is VERY HARD for ADHD suffers. So one has to take things on a “”case by case basis”. Not apply blanket ruls for all. Dont you think, ie a Mum with five small kids is more likely to be late at this time in her life???
  
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  - ikia
    10 January, 2012 at 1:10 pm
    
    thanks for sharing about this. I have ADHD as well, and I agree, it’s hard for us to keep track of time. For me, I’d be preparing 1 hr or 2 hrs beforehand, and at times, still end up being late because I got majorly distracted without realizing it, or my estimation of time was way off for something I did.
    
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    - Figgy O'Connell
      11 January, 2012 at 1:53 am
      
      Further to the ADHD comment, there are other problems that increase the liklihood of a person turning up late.
      
      I have insomnia, so I often spend two to six hours trying to GET to sleep, which is actually more of an issue when I KNOW I have to get up at a certain time, so spend a lot of time fretting over the fact that I now have only six hours to sleep… Four… Three and a bit… Two…
      
      And then I have to drag myself out of bed in the morning, and still rush to get on time… Yes, I like to sleep until the latest possible alarm before getting up, because it took SO DARN LONG TO GET THERE!
      
      It doesn’t make a difference if I go to bed and lay there twelve hours before I have to be up, I won’t get to sleep with anything more than five hours to go… Best case.
      
      Reply
Matt
28 July, 2011 at 10:30 am

Brilliant!

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Paul
28 July, 2011 at 1:53 pm

You need to chill out mate! Don’t be so anal! Stuff happens, live with it!

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Greg Savage
28 July, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Cheers Paul
In fact I am very chilled indeed….
A good rant about about flagrant rudeness, helps keep me that way..

Best

Greg

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Phil
28 July, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Could not agree more. Remember when we did not have mobile phones and if you agreed to meet somewhere there was no way to contact people away from their desk or home? Now the most popular SMS is “running a little late.”

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Elain
28 July, 2011 at 4:34 pm

I’m so agreed with this! I have 2 gal friends who is always late! Furthermore, the meeting place is always near their home! I will reach 5-10mins earlier & will sms her 5 mins before telling her that I have reached, knowing that she need 10mins or more to drift herself to our meeting place! Without fail, this goes on for years and I believe as friends we shall have talk it out but still I can’t believe that human behaviours can be so self-centred.

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Wenona
28 July, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Great post could not agree more!

I think for those who are running late, it is only polite to let the people waiting for them know in advance that they will be late. Nothing worse than waiting for a person wondering where they are and why they are late

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B Lates
28 July, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Greg, you may have saved civilisation

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Nic
28 July, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Absolutely right! It is not acceptable to be late anywhere and repeat offenders should be told so. Certain friends or family members who are always late or don’t turn up at all without a text or phone call never get invited back again. Even in business it’s the height of bad manners. A few years ago I went for a job interview and was kept waiting 50 minutes as the interviewer hadn’t arrived at the office. In disgust I just walked out and went home. As soon as I got off the tube I received a call from them asking where I was. I explained that I wouldn’t want to work for a company who were that disorganised and that if I can make the effort to get there on time (I was also 20 minutes early) so should they. The boss was setting a bad example.

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- Carolyn Hyams
  28 July, 2011 at 10:11 pm
  
  Good for you Nicole!
  
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Michelle from CareerSavvy
29 July, 2011 at 9:24 am

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who hates it when people are late. I manage to be on time to social events/work/school drop offs with 2 littlies under 5 and I am amazed that others can’t show the same courtesy.

I find it even more frustrating when not only are people late, but don’t show the good manners to send a text or call to let me know they are going to be late.

On the flip side, I think it is almost as bad to be TOO early, and this was one of my pet peeves as a recruiter when interviewing. Its awkward to have a candidate sitting in reception for more than 10-15 minutes before an interview.

Good article!

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Acupofgie
29 July, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Hi Greg, you’re so right about people who are routinely late!

It’s rubbish. If an appointment is not to be respected and kept to, none should be made in the first place.

Cheers.

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Deej
29 July, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Well said Greg,
I cannot agree more. People often believe that their time is so much more important. I actually billed a real estate agent for my time after being 1 hour late for an appointment to view a property my wife and i were looking at purchasing, also I have a relative who is a serial latecomer. I once had to tell her that my daughters naming day ceramony started at 10am to ensure she would be ontime for the 12pm start, would you believe she was still late???? Needless to say she is employed within the “safe” government environment…god knows she wouldnt survive in private enterprise.
Keep the blogs coming, always a great read.

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Alan
29 July, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Hi Greg Agree completely with this and recently my wife walked out from a dental appointment after 30 minutes of unexplained delay by receptionist. Late arrivals for dinner infuriate me and I have on a couple of occasions welcomed the late guests in my pyjamas. Didn’t go down to well with my wife but the point was made to those late-comers.

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Anna
1 August, 2011 at 9:40 am

Over the past couple of months of job seeking, I’ve had probably 20 meetings with recruiters – varying levels, organisations of different sizes. Is it a recruitment tactic to make the candidate wait? I’ve sat in interview rooms for up to 20 minutes, having been shown in by a receptionist and left to my own devices.

In fact, Firebrand was the only agency I went to where I was seen at the time we’d actually planned the meeting!

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- Carolyn Hyams
  1 August, 2011 at 9:56 am
  
  Phew! I’m kind of relieved you said that Anna
  
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Andy C
1 August, 2011 at 6:52 pm

I remember my first day of joining the Royal Air Force (many years ago), the Staff Sergeant arranged a meeting outside our accommodation for 2pm. He stood outside, saying nothing, as we all shuffled out in dribs and drabs, sorting ourselves into a line by a couple of minutes after 2pm. Then he gave us an almighty roasting at the top of his voice for what seemed like an hour and let us know – in no uncertain times – that when he gives a time he wants to see us standing in line 5 minutes beforehand.

And that is what we did from then on of course. The next 2pm parade saw us all standing in line at 13:55.

It’s a rule that has stuck with me since then. It’s not something that the wife subscribes too, unfortunately.

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Kyung
18 August, 2011 at 10:34 am

This article describes my boss to a T. Not only is she serially late – (kept job applicant waiting 1 hour, was 45 mins late meeting new Deputy CE are standout examples) – when she finally arrives, she has her phone on, answers calls during the meeting and texts whilst others are talking. She attributes this behaviour to multitasking. I call it outrageously rude and thoughtless.

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Achuthan
20 August, 2011 at 2:16 pm

The issue is to do with integrity. Integrity with respect to time. That plus what they feel is important to them. Ask the same people who are routine late comers if they would be late to receive an award from the President of their country or if they would be late for a flight for an overseas holiday. The chances are – never!
These are folks who have huge issues in living as their word and I for one would not like to do business with them. One of my seniors – from whom I learnt a lot once went to a client meeting (I was there and witness to this). We were kept waiting for 30 minutes as the client we were to see was on a call or some such. We then went in for the meeting which was to last an hour. 30 minutes into the meeting, my boss concluded the meeting thus – “the rest of the discussions will be held tomorrow at our office at xyz time. I had budgeted an hour for this meeitng of which we spent 30 minutes outside. Thank you and have a good day.’ This obviously generated a lot of heat, so to speak, but for sure the client got the message. never ever again, was he on a call when our meetings were scheduled!

Regards,
Achuthan

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Kalan
1 September, 2011 at 12:43 am

Interesting article and some funny comments.
Actually it seems that everyone here thinks the “late people” consider their time as more important than the time of others. You all are talking about your time as if it was money : time is money ? Really ?

I’m not a “late guy”. Sure it happened but I do care of people and if the meeting point is outdoor and the weather is windy, I’ll do my best to be on time. But it’s nothing to do with the “value” of time.

Taking the time is important. People want to drive their life so fast that they feel under attack as soon as their schedule is not fulfilled.
If the one I have to meet is 5, 10 or even 20 minutes late, I usually don’t care. Because I am ready to spend my time with him I don’t want to be in a hurry so I try not to schedule another interview/meeting/social event in the next 3-4 hours. I am not and I don’t want to be prisoner of my watch. .

My 2 cents

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- Lynne
  22 December, 2011 at 1:38 am
  
  My thoughts don’t involve my need to rush elsewhere but rather that if I respect and like someone enough why would I mess them around by saying one thing and doing another? It starts a meeting/social event etc off on the wrong foot and really, there’s just no need to let someone down for the sake of being more organised. Don’t get me wrong, everyone will be late at times but there are some people who do it without fail – that’s my bug-bear.
  
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Bella
6 October, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Greg, you are right on the money with this post. Do some people live in another dimension? and it does amaze me that *apparently* sending sms makes everything better. It’s the Ultimate Sticking Plaster (or not!)

I’m starting to think it’s a good indication of who will be awful to do business with – if they can’t organise themselves to be on time, what else can’t they organise?

cheers
Bella

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Justin
21 October, 2011 at 11:45 pm

Great post Greg. Totally with you on this. Another peeve along similar lines is with, in my case, suppliers of services. I don’t really care that something might take a day or two, or a month or a year – but if you tell me I can have it on a particular day, at a particular time – damn well make it happen! Whew, rant over.

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gemma garratt
1 November, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Oh Miles…I squirmed as I read this blog. 8/10 I am one of those late people (not as late as those people for the dinner party – alarming! ) – but late none the less, and especially when I was a ‘client’. My sister, after about 20 years of adulthood blasted me about it last week. I thank her and thank you for calling us on it. You are right. It is sloppy, rude and disrespectful. I take my hat off to the on time people. If they can do it, so can I. (You may remember me, I’m friend of Renee’s)

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Tana
29 November, 2011 at 6:46 am

Although I resonate with your frustrations (I myself tend to be a bit of a stickler about time), I think it’s also worth considering whether we’ve become way too time-focused in the West. Perhaps living so much by the clock may not be such a healthy thing in the larger scheme of things and a sign that we need create a lot more spaciousness in our lives (wasn’t that the point of technology- to reduce the amount of manual labour so that we would have more time on our hands?) Also, I wonder if part of this trend has to do with international influences since there are many cultures that are much more relaxed about time. Thanks for the food-for-thought.

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Vicky
6 December, 2011 at 10:32 pm

I used to get really angry when people were always late. However, I have to admit that I’ve become acclimatised to it: most meetings will be delayed by 5-10 minutes, coffee meetings ditto. Admittedly I tend to use my free time with email/newsfeeds etc on my iPhone, I used to get angrier before I could at least do things. That said, the whoppers are usually the same people, who you learn to add on time (9:00 means 9:30 etc).

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Andrew Fairley
7 December, 2011 at 12:32 am

I couldn’t agree more with this post! I’m someone who always makes a point of being early, who will always plan a safety margin into any journey where I have a scheduled appointment at the end of it (to the extent that I have been sitting, twiddling my thumbs for an hour after arriving at 1pm for a 2pm meeting), and if I am late for something, feel incredibly guilty about it and apologise profusely for it.

Then I know people who will arrive anything up to an hour late to a scheduled appointment, throw in a casual “sorry I’m late” with no explanation and no meaning in their voice, and expect things to be fine. It’s not on.

As you say, even with the best intentions sometimes you do run late. The courteous thing to do is to offer a genuine apology, but more importantly try and avoid turning up late in the first case. If that means setting off 10 minutes earlier to get to the bus stop on time, then do it.

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David Rowan
21 December, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Could not have put it better myself.
Well said.
If someone pre-warns you that they may be late due to an earlier meeting, I can accept, but when someone just turns up late, sets the tone for a poor meeting.

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Lynne
21 December, 2011 at 8:20 pm

Love this article. My pet hate is having to stand around like a wet lettuce leaf while the person you are meeting casually wanders to the meeting (let’s face it, does anyone really believe they are rushing?)

Only thing I would say about the article is FOURTY FIVE MINUTES!!!!! I’d have left after 15 and expected a grovelling apology – must have been a fantastic bottle of wine. If I have a friend on their own I make a point of getting to a venue early so they aren’t arriving to an empty table – I can think of nothing worse and wouldn’t want my friends to have to do it.

I also had a friend who was consistently 15 minutes late for any meeting, I eventually started suggesting to her we were meeting 15 mintues before I intended to get there. This worked but eventually I jut though ‘what’s the point?’ sadly we lost touch but at least I no longer spent 15 minute a week standing on a street corner waiting for her!

When I was younger, you said a time and you stuck to it, there were no ‘get out clauses’ that mobiles now enable and I agree, it’s like everyone now has a right to send a quick text and it makes it all ok. It doesn’t.

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Andrew Bird
21 December, 2011 at 8:20 pm

Greg

You have restored my faith in …my own sanity! I thought it was just me that finds the trend to be late so frustrating. I thought maybe it was just another example that Im getting older and grumpier, as I sit supping my second latte, waiting for someone who is 15 minutes late and who wants to sell their services.

Thank you, and Merry Christmas to you down there in the Southern Hemispheres…

Andrew

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Alex Richardson
21 December, 2011 at 8:57 pm

I interviewed a senior candidate recently who had an interesting tactic for dealing with this in group meetings,namely that he had a two minute rule. Whether people were still missing or not, at 2 mins after the appointed time the meeting would start Regardless. Anyone that came in after that had to stand ! No one was late very often after that .

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Paul Hunt
21 December, 2011 at 9:07 pm

Greg,

Well said. Repeated lateness is disrespectful, inconsiderate and obviously a very common practice these days judging by the number of comments here.

Regards,

Paul

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manish
21 December, 2011 at 10:45 pm

I agreed with this blog .. Greg .. there are lot’s of ppl who don’t care about other’s tym and make excuse on coming late .. Ppl should respect their tym and other’s too….

Have a gr8 day and happy Christmas…

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Helen Wing
4 January, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I don’t think you understand the chance that latecomers give you each and every day.. they give you a few precious moments in your busy day to contemplate the dark and empty hole that is your time-strapped dying soul. You should be thanking them because for a moment you get a chance to succeed where time doesn’t. Time isn’t money or respect, it’s simply that space where you are not dead. Personally I now depend on lateness, the lateness of other people, because that is the time where I get to think and breathe. In my life I find it has only been the unscheduled things that have truly mattered… in business as in the rest of life.

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David
4 January, 2012 at 3:23 pm

I agree with most of this, except for the dentist part. You contradict yourself at the end and don’t really make a good concluding point. You say you had been seeing your dentist for 15 years. Obviously you have found your fit for a dentist, and your knack to scrutinize the punctuality of others probably developed way before finding her as a dentist. While that knack is not necessarily a bad thing, like I said, it wasn’t something that developed overnight. If you have been seeing her for fifteen years, this obviously was one of the only times she did it to you, or else you would have found someone else to treat you long ago. Assuming you keep with your oral care (brush and floss regularly and taken proper actions for grinding your teeth if you do), 15 years at 6 month check-ups leaves you with 30 visits. You’re complaining about one out of thirty visits which leaves you with a 3.3333333% chance of her running late-based on previous experiences. I don’t know about you, but if you are trying to find someone who constantly runs late, someone with a 3.3% chance of doing so probably isn’t the best candidate. I bring up this point because at the end, you say that, with this blog, you are not targeting the person who on slight occasion runs late, but those with habitual tardiness because, you, on occasion, do run late. Well it seems to me that your dentist appointment was her occasion (especially since the receptionist was so taken back-there are others like you who scrutinize punctuality and I’m sure your dentist has some of them besides you in her practice as well). Your dentist “did not plan on being late” just like you don’t, so using that experience as an example is not quite adequate for the point you are trying to prove.

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JM
10 January, 2012 at 2:48 am

Regarding your dentist, as far as possible I always schedule far ahead in advance such that I am the first on the day’s list.

Because lateness is such an epidemic that other patients end up being late and causing the whole appointment of the day to slide! So let’s say your appointment is at 3pm. And the 2.30pm patient comes late by 20min for a 15min procedure, she’s stuck in a: “do i refuse to see this patient and alienate him?” or “do i let the next patient wait and alienate him?” situation?

So for that one episode you blame your dentist of 15 years? Seems a bit harsh…

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- Charm
  13 January, 2012 at 4:09 am
  
  I have lists of booked appointments as a sonographer (ultrasound) It has always been my policy of taking the early patients early and the late patients late (ie if two patients turn up at the same time I will take the one that was early for their appointment) if I am running late I either ask reception to explain why Or if possible I go out myself to explain. It has worked well for me for over eleven years
  
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Mike Brumfit
10 January, 2012 at 3:44 am

I thought it was just me that got frustrated.
I have left arranged meetings because people kept me waiting 10 minutes and it was me they wanted to do business with.

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Elton
10 January, 2012 at 11:29 am

Greg, I so agree with you. Though your article is too focused on adults, I will share a little on how selfish teenage brats in school act the exact same way in a even lower order. Meetings for school projects start at 2pm, I sat there in readiness at 1.55pm. The Kings and Queen graced me with their presence at 2.30pm. Meeting supposed to last for one hour and it got extended to 3.30 due to them. When I had to leave at three sharp for something else, I get shot at for loafing and ‘always leaving the meeting too early’. Yet these people sometimes turn up for meetings on their personal whims and fancy. At my second year in school I gave up working so hard and simply tossed everything to them.

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Gordon Yeong
10 January, 2012 at 7:04 pm

I totally agree Meaning your words and being punctual not only shows respect to an event, but also shows how accountable one is.

1. they don’t have much value in their time or are not really doing much with their lives. We have other things that we have to get done before/after the appointment. It’s not like we have all the time in the world for them to delay with
2. bad/poor/no upbringing. Again, this comes to manners.
3. ‘Birds of a feather, flock together’ – their ‘friends’ are like that too so they see nothing wrong with it.

Smiling and saying ‘yes’ to an appointment and not being punctual/turning up is just as good as not saying you’ll come in the first place. It only makes you look like a retard in the first place.

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Trent
10 January, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Too true! Though i’d be lying if I said I wasn’t one of them.

Something’s gotta change :/

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Meh
11 January, 2012 at 12:25 am

Hmm.. I wouldn’t had thought that someone could write this much about being late for something.. Good post tho, but don’t you think you are “over reacting”?

Sure it’s annyoing, but you can either a) Leave b) Suck it and wait.

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Alexander Teo
11 January, 2012 at 12:47 am

Very relevant especially most people in malaysia seem to operate on the Malaysia Time Zone, which is to arrive +2 or 3 hour late to appointments.

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Vignesh Adhi
11 January, 2012 at 2:41 am

Nice write up indeed! People won’t be late next morning if they read this before going to bed. #Bedtimestories

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Chris
11 January, 2012 at 8:49 am

As much as he and his fanboy following irritate me Kurt Vonnegut summed up this issue very succinctly;

“I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.”

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Lyn
11 January, 2012 at 9:29 am

This is a brilliant post and so true of people today! I have a relative who is persistently late and not just by a few minutes. A few weeks ago she was almost two hours late for lunch, then got miffed when she arrived to find us sitting down to eat without her. She does suffer from OCD and is completely incapable of leaving her own home if one thing is out of place but after more than two decades I’m sick of that excuse.

The occasional lateness is unavoidable but serial offenders are indeed selfish, disrespectful and grandiose, believing that their schedule is far more important than yours and you can just wait.

Interesting that the few people who told you to chill are probably the worst offenders.

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jerome
11 January, 2012 at 12:11 pm

well said! you couldnt have said it in a better way!

great post! hope everyone who is habitually late will read this post

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Crystal
11 January, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I was with you until that story about your dentist. One late appointment in 15 years and you threw a temper tantrum and stormed out?

Relax, friend.

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Gemma Stallan
11 January, 2012 at 9:20 pm

So true, and very well said… however I don’t think it’s anyone elses fault you put a large dent in the bottle of pinot! Hehehe!

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Sascha
12 January, 2012 at 12:00 am

So true. Just had to share this post with some ‘friends’ and co-workers. Time’s the most valuable thing we have. We should treat it that way.

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Chelsea
12 January, 2012 at 5:26 am

I agree about business, but as for casual occassions I think that promptnessmay be a regionally specific issue .
I was raised in the south (Atlanta specifically) and I was taught growing up that it is completely acceptable and even expected that guest show up a little late to parties. As much as I plan and try to have everything ready on time there is always something more to do, so usually as a host I am behind and find the people who show up promptly at 7:00 annoying (I do generally write 7-ish on invitations). I understand promptness being necessary for dinner parties, weddings, etc. (where people are waiting for you to begin) but never would I chide someone, even mentally, for being fashionably late to a shindig.

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Aliehs
12 January, 2012 at 10:59 am

Better late than never, as the saying goes… . Would rather that my friends show up late than cancel the appointment at the last minute (I had a friend who would do that 8 out of 10 times).

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Chok
12 January, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Hi Greg! I love this post. I sure hope that “some” of my friends get to read this. I hate waiting for people. I think that the time wasted waiting for them can be used for better activities. I had two friends, who were constantly late. I even had to give one of them a wrist watch just so they could stick to our arranged meeting, but still didn’t work. So at one point, I stopped seeing them.

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Brian
12 January, 2012 at 8:11 pm

One thing to keep in mind is cultural differences. While in Western culture timeliness is a cultural high priority, in many societies relationships are valued more than timeliness, for instance, throughout Africa. If you see someone while on the way to a party, you don’t just say “I’m late, can’t talk” so that you can be on time. You value this person that you are seeing more than timeliness. So you stop, say hello, and then you inquire about the health and welfare of each of their family members. You do this for each person along the way. In general, people come around 6 hours late to things after the scheduled time. In this culture, if you brush off someone because you are hurrying, that is rude and inconsiderate!!!
Arabs are the same way, so are Latinos. I’m from the US, not from Australia, so I don’t know how Pacific Islanders or Asians are, but some friends have given me reason to believe Asians are the same way. Many of these cultures have been influenced by business with the west to value timeliness over relationship now. But I think “business over relationship” is a bad prioritization that is destroying families and lives in the western world. In a happiness survey from 2003 which didn’t measure “happiness” with dollar signs (unlike the current UN survey), the top five happiest nations in the world were Nigeria, Mexico, Venezuela, El Salvador, and Puerto Rico- all “late” nations like I described, where family and relationships are highly valued and prioritized over “business” and “timeliness.”

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daxxe
13 January, 2012 at 1:37 am

Thank you so much. I seem to belong to a community in which Im the odd one out because Im early or on time. People look at me strangely when they see that Im the first one there. Its so rare for people to be on time nowadays. They also tell me to cool down, and its very normal to be late.Well, Im a nurse, and I’ll see how happy you will be if I withhold your medication because Im very busy.

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Nabila
13 January, 2012 at 7:01 am

I don’t agree with everything you say. The basic reason is not that people are too busy OR that they don’t value your time. You’re taking the whole thing as a personal affront, when its nothing to do with that.

Its just that for most of us, life is not worth living if everything is on a deadline – and while most people are prepared to put up that effort for business meetings or situations where its a stranger etc. – when it comes to social events, obviously you want to be more relaxed. And honestly, it sounds like you’re out of touch with the unspoken time rules among your friends. Which is why, e.g. the couple at the restaurant didn’t bother apologising – they honestly thought you would take the 8 pm as a rough approximation rather than a deadline, just as they did.

Also, about the ‘running-late’ sms. I don’t know how it is in your circle, but in our circle, when we fix a time, we use sms to inform each other before we leave our house etc. SO the running-late sms is to actually warn the other person not to start out too early and be kept waiting. And most of the time, it works just fine that way.

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Selsdon
17 January, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Well, Mr Savage.

The view from the other side. I am never intentionally or fashionably late. My biggest chronic fault is that I usually try to get too much done before the set meeting time, which does not include doddling in coffee shops on the way.

And I would like to add that the meetings I am ususally late for are often at times that are not set by me but by other people for the optimum convenience of those people. The times are often not really convenient for me at all, but instead of not showing up at all, I will usually rush and at least make the effort to turn up, which I assume is better than not showing up at all.

Oh, and I love bacon sandwiches.

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Bingo Pajama
20 January, 2012 at 7:10 am

You whine like a teen age girl. You sound like you didn’t get the toy you wanted for frikkin’ Christmas. Get over it.

Judging some women you don’t even know for showing up at a party after it’s had a chance to get into full swing takes the cake. Everybody does that.

Slow down. Be here now and enjoy the moment. Bring a book. Respond to messages when you have to wait. Embrace the present moment. Let it go. You’re probably missing opportunities by stewing that someone is treating poor you so badly, wah wah, I’m a victim of disrespectful people!!!

Too funny.

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