Last week it struck me, as I was sitting in a company meeting on Monday afternoon, how many people in the room were playing dead.
Keeping a low profile, not saying too much, not showing too much emotion, just being present and letting the daring few carry the day.
I studied the faces and the postures of those in the room, and I noticed how they were looking thoughtful, intelligent, earnest, subdued, and even sad. And then I suddenly realised they were all trying to not be excited.
Wow. How many hours and days and weeks and years do some people spend trying to not be excited? Why do they do it? And what’s the price they pay?
Well, you see, the business of business is a serious matter. Showing or even suggesting excitement is like laughing at a funeral; entirely inappropriate. And so, in order to take on the cover of sombre, serious, sadness, people dim their light a bit. They dumb down their feelings and emotions, and curb their enthusiasm.
After all, everyone in the room had their reputation to protect, and no one wanted to ruin their reputation by saying something stupid like, “I love that”. Or by smiling, or laughing, or doing anything else that might appear foolish and irrational.
They were playing dead because acting too lively, and being too alive, is just not a good look. It’s child’s play, and no business for the practical, responsible adult who is making his or her way in the serious world of big business.
That evening, when I got home, my mood was flat and I felt sucked dry. Sucked dry by a roomful of people who were playing dead. And as I thought about it some more – why is this bugging me so much? – I thought how these people are probably lying low everywhere in their lives. I thought how these people are probably always playing dead, dividing themselves in half, and then in half again, until what’s left is one quarter of their whole selves. Oh wow, what a way to live – or not live.
Two days later I had the privilege to listen to Andrew Denton make a keynote talk on creativity. He talked of overcoming fear, and being alive. And he concluded his talk by reminding us all of the saying, “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”
Amen to that.
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Tony Adams
Wonderful reflections!
I live with chronic depression, in which life is a daily battle to get enough energy to face people, to engage and to function in the workplace. Depression is destructive because you feel disconnected from everyone around you; you have no energy and no will to do anything. Your comment about living their lives feeling flat absolutely rings true!
I can tell you something though, the best way to get connected and to feel that energy again is to surround yourself with positive, energetic, EXCITED people. The excitement is contagious…and certainly thereaputic. Getting excited makes YOU feel better, and it makes those around you feel better too. It is a win-win for everyone.
I love this post – it hits home and it reinforces to me the value of really connecting and drawing on positive energy, from both people around you, and within yourself.
Thanks so much for posting.
Emma Gardiner
I had this exact same experience in a meeting the other day. When it came to my item – an idea that I really think would work brilliantly for our organisation on social media – I totally played it down because everyone was already being so sombre and negative and my idea was kind of out there and fun.
I was so annoyed at myself afterwards. It IS a good idea. Fortunately I have a manager who is a great politician so she has greenlighted the trial of the idea which gets us around getting an OK from that room full of zombies.
It’s worth noting that one brave leader can change the tone of a whole meeting but in a hierarchical organisation like mine, it has to be the leader who leads!
richard
Cheers Tony.
I too have lived with depression, something I have managed to beat.
I guess it’s because of where I came from that I am who I am today.
Really happy to have touched a positive chord with you.
Cheers
Richard
Anne
I so identify with this! For years I’ve seen ‘playing dead’ used as a form of intimidation by one influential senior manager . It drains creativity. So what if a few crazy thoughts are aired and discarded, that’s part of the journey to the holy grail.
Claudio Di Silvestre
Great!
I like it, this is my way of life, but in the business arena is not easy to be alive…low profile is a must.
You can see the difference during the convention or meeting to team building. All “died change their behavior and go wild, some become even funny
trisha proud
Sue – loving this piece and also loving the quote: “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” Raw, punchy and hard hitting as always; I couldn’t agree more with the essence and spirit of the message here. As a trainer of many management courses I have used this analogy in other forms myself………not limited to but particularly when delivering ‘Time Management’, in that I say to delegates that if they attend meetings and don’t bother to contribute then they are either in the wrong meeting or wrong job and per hasps they should consider not attending the meeting or maybe changing their job; because either way a non contributing team member is a total waste of everybody’s time!
Trisha Proud
Managing Partner
Partners in Solutions Ltd
Donna Sargent
It’s interesting isn’t it – I actually had a light bulb moment whilst reading your blog. I am a self employed entrepreneur ( I guess) and I just love the whole creative process of business so much so that I find myself involved in my third start up business in 12 years – I feel invigorated and alive, which seems to inspire others to feel alive as well.
The realisation for me was that I made the decision to leave the conventional workforce 12 years ago now and took the risk of starting out on my own in business, as a sole parent to a then gorgeous 5 year old son and no family support or financial backing as I just couldn’t deal with the dead people at work any longer.
I love being vibrant and excitable and I would encourage everyone to embrace life. It’s contagious when you do and I promise you you won’t regret it. This is your life do what you love
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